Friday, December 19, 2003
Which is the 1st country created?
That's the question posed by my daughter a couple of days back. I went like, "what do you mean which is the 1st country created?."
"You know, when Allah created the countries, which one He created 1st?".
Thinking that there must be something behind this line of questioning, I asked, "Why do you ask?".
She replied with a more direct question. "Is Malaysia the 1st country created?".
"Why do you think so?".
"Because when we went back to Malaysia for our holidays & when I went to the playgrounds, all the playgrounds are old and broken."
There you go, verdict from the expert about the condition of children playgrounds in Malaysia. Sad to think that we have tallest, longest, biggest everything but a child is made to think that our beloved country is an old country because her playgrounds are broken.
That's the question posed by my daughter a couple of days back. I went like, "what do you mean which is the 1st country created?."
"You know, when Allah created the countries, which one He created 1st?".
Thinking that there must be something behind this line of questioning, I asked, "Why do you ask?".
She replied with a more direct question. "Is Malaysia the 1st country created?".
"Why do you think so?".
"Because when we went back to Malaysia for our holidays & when I went to the playgrounds, all the playgrounds are old and broken."
There you go, verdict from the expert about the condition of children playgrounds in Malaysia. Sad to think that we have tallest, longest, biggest everything but a child is made to think that our beloved country is an old country because her playgrounds are broken.
Sunday, December 14, 2003
When can Ummi come home?
I was having a 'discussion' with my 6 year old daughter the other day & suddenly she asked me about ummi; "Abah, when can Ummi come home and doesn't go to the hospital anymore?". I couldn't answer that; I suppose, the experience of the last 6 months are affecting them (she & her brother) but in their own ways, they must be trying to deal with it. The only thing I could offer was, "Insya-Allah, when Ummi is well, she'll come home and will not be going back to the hospital anymore. Kakak du'a untuk ummi okay." And she smiled & nodded her head.
Things are still not looking good & it is really straining her patience and strength. I pray that we will be able to continue this journey & may it ends soon with her full recovery. & my daughter can have her mummy home all the time as she's used to.
Things are still not looking good & it is really straining her patience and strength. I pray that we will be able to continue this journey & may it ends soon with her full recovery. & my daughter can have her mummy home all the time as she's used to.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Sunday, December 07, 2003
to date since 20/4/03;
5 Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) Scans
6 Lumbar Punctures
1 Computerized tomography (CT) Scan
Countless Visual field test
5 Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) Scans
6 Lumbar Punctures
1 Computerized tomography (CT) Scan
Countless Visual field test
20/11/03 - Delivery
24/11/03 - Discharged from FPH
25/11/03 - Eid
26/11/03 - Emergency RMH - drips, transfusion
27/11/03 - 4 South RMH
01/12/03 - VP-Shunt recommended (planned for Thurs - 4/12)
04/12/03 - Surgery postponed
05/12/03 - Granted home leave (with self injection of anti-coagulant)
08/12/03 - planned review & possible surgery Monday night or Thursday
to be continued....
24/11/03 - Discharged from FPH
25/11/03 - Eid
26/11/03 - Emergency RMH - drips, transfusion
27/11/03 - 4 South RMH
01/12/03 - VP-Shunt recommended (planned for Thurs - 4/12)
04/12/03 - Surgery postponed
05/12/03 - Granted home leave (with self injection of anti-coagulant)
08/12/03 - planned review & possible surgery Monday night or Thursday
to be continued....
Pseudotumor Cerebri
Also referred to as:
Increased Intracranial Pressure
The edges of this swollen optic nerve (the yellow disc in the center) have become blurred and indistinct
Pseudotumor cerebri is a condition of increased intracranial pressure (high pressure inside the cranial cavity) which most commonly affects 20 to 45 year old overweight women. Patients usually present with episodes of "graying out of vision", known as transient visual obscurations. These episodes of vision loss usually last just a few seconds. Some patients will notice a blind spot in their peripheral vision and others may have double vision. Headaches are very common.
Although in the great majority of cases, the cause is unknown, some cases are associated with corticosteroid treatment (e.g., prednisone), vitamin A over-dosage, tetracyclines, nalidixic acid, and radical neck surgery (e.g., for cancer). The diagnosis is made after discovering papilledema (swollen optic nerves) and a MRI or CT scan of the brain rules-out other conditions which might cause increased intracranial pressure (e.g., tumor). The diagnosis is confirmed by a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) which demonstrates increased cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) pressure, but the CSF is otherwise normal in laboratory analyses.
If the condition is untreated, vision may progressively worsen due to chronic papilledema (swollen optic nerves) with consequent atrophy of the optic nerves. Most patients are initially treated with diuretics (e.g., Diamox) to reduce intracranial pressure, perhaps with the use of corticosteroids and repeated lumbar punctures to drain off CSF. Most patients must be encouraged to lose weight. Surgery is recommended for those that have progressive peripheral vision loss or intractable headaches, despite medical therapy. Surgery usually consists of optic nerve sheath fenestration if the primary symptoms are visual or a lumbo-peritoneal (L-P) shunt if the symptoms are primarily headache related. Either procedure may be effective at controlling the signs and symptoms of the disorder, by decreasing intracranial pressure.
From EyeMDLink.Com
Also referred to as:
Increased Intracranial Pressure
The edges of this swollen optic nerve (the yellow disc in the center) have become blurred and indistinct
Pseudotumor cerebri is a condition of increased intracranial pressure (high pressure inside the cranial cavity) which most commonly affects 20 to 45 year old overweight women. Patients usually present with episodes of "graying out of vision", known as transient visual obscurations. These episodes of vision loss usually last just a few seconds. Some patients will notice a blind spot in their peripheral vision and others may have double vision. Headaches are very common.
Although in the great majority of cases, the cause is unknown, some cases are associated with corticosteroid treatment (e.g., prednisone), vitamin A over-dosage, tetracyclines, nalidixic acid, and radical neck surgery (e.g., for cancer). The diagnosis is made after discovering papilledema (swollen optic nerves) and a MRI or CT scan of the brain rules-out other conditions which might cause increased intracranial pressure (e.g., tumor). The diagnosis is confirmed by a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) which demonstrates increased cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) pressure, but the CSF is otherwise normal in laboratory analyses.
If the condition is untreated, vision may progressively worsen due to chronic papilledema (swollen optic nerves) with consequent atrophy of the optic nerves. Most patients are initially treated with diuretics (e.g., Diamox) to reduce intracranial pressure, perhaps with the use of corticosteroids and repeated lumbar punctures to drain off CSF. Most patients must be encouraged to lose weight. Surgery is recommended for those that have progressive peripheral vision loss or intractable headaches, despite medical therapy. Surgery usually consists of optic nerve sheath fenestration if the primary symptoms are visual or a lumbo-peritoneal (L-P) shunt if the symptoms are primarily headache related. Either procedure may be effective at controlling the signs and symptoms of the disorder, by decreasing intracranial pressure.
From EyeMDLink.Com
Tomorrow morning we are going back to RMH. A review and then a possible surgery later on. The neuro-ophthalmologist is suggesting a Ventriculoperitoneal (VP) Shunt.
This would be the second surgery, after the bilateral Optic Nerve Sheath Fenestration in May 03.
Optic Nerve Sheath Fenestration
After the surgery, the vision improved but only for 3 weeks. Then it started to deteriorate again. However, this time around the Papilledema is not as bad.
This would be the second surgery, after the bilateral Optic Nerve Sheath Fenestration in May 03.
Optic Nerve Sheath Fenestration
After the surgery, the vision improved but only for 3 weeks. Then it started to deteriorate again. However, this time around the Papilledema is not as bad.
Saturday, December 06, 2003
Neuro-ophthalmologists
Neuro-ophthalmologists specialize in the complex relationships between the brain and the eye. Frequently referred to by other ophthalmologists, neurologists, neurosurgeons, and other medical doctors, neuro-ophthalmologists diagnose and treat a myriad of optic nerve, cranial nerve, and brain disorders including infectious and inflammatory conditions, and tumors of the optic nerve, orbit, and brain. Both general ophthalmology residency and fellowship trained, neuro-ophthalmologists may perform the same procedures as a general ophthalmologist.
From EyeMDLink.Com
Neuro-ophthalmologists specialize in the complex relationships between the brain and the eye. Frequently referred to by other ophthalmologists, neurologists, neurosurgeons, and other medical doctors, neuro-ophthalmologists diagnose and treat a myriad of optic nerve, cranial nerve, and brain disorders including infectious and inflammatory conditions, and tumors of the optic nerve, orbit, and brain. Both general ophthalmology residency and fellowship trained, neuro-ophthalmologists may perform the same procedures as a general ophthalmologist.
From EyeMDLink.Com
Got my final results. I've done it - completed my studies. After 2 gruelling years, it's finally over. Graduation is on Dec 17th 2003 - that's less than 2 weeks away. Frankly, I'm not that excited about the graduation. The important thing is completing it. Still don't know my CGPA - not sure how they will calculate it - how they'll treat the thesis which is either Pass or Fail.
Overall, I'm quite pleased having getting either High Distinction or Distinction in most semester.
What's next? Nothing formal - but there is something I want to start doing. Will think more of it and might really start doing it, informally.
Overall, I'm quite pleased having getting either High Distinction or Distinction in most semester.
What's next? Nothing formal - but there is something I want to start doing. Will think more of it and might really start doing it, informally.
Friday, December 05, 2003
Alhmdulillah, we welcomed our third child on 25 Ramadhan 1423 (Thurs 20 November 2003) at 1442 hrs at Frances Perry House, Melbourne. A bouncy tiny baby boy now officially known as "baby Akeem" by big brother (3 yrs old). His birth was 3 weeks from the EDD (Estimated Delivery Date) and he weighted only 2.2 kg at birth.
If I can figure out how to get his photographs digitised, they might end up somewhere here; but don't hold your breath. I'm really 'sloooowwww' with those sort of things.
Anyway, things are looking good with him and gaining weight real quick.
If I can figure out how to get his photographs digitised, they might end up somewhere here; but don't hold your breath. I'm really 'sloooowwww' with those sort of things.
Anyway, things are looking good with him and gaining weight real quick.
Friday, November 14, 2003
ever wondered about people's reaction to the truth? or what is perceived as the truth. what am I trying to say? hhmmm...
let's try again. I think a lot of people are making important decisions based on other people's reactions. This came about as I was following a discussion about some implementation of a new ruling at my alma-mater.
This bring up a question to myself - do I make decision based on other's view; instead of my view. I hope not, but more importantly, if a lot of people make decision based on other's view - does it follow that there is an easier way to form majority viewpoints?
I'll think more about this.
let's try again. I think a lot of people are making important decisions based on other people's reactions. This came about as I was following a discussion about some implementation of a new ruling at my alma-mater.
This bring up a question to myself - do I make decision based on other's view; instead of my view. I hope not, but more importantly, if a lot of people make decision based on other's view - does it follow that there is an easier way to form majority viewpoints?
I'll think more about this.
BLOGGER
What's this? I was testing a new feature provided - basically, capturing url link with just a click (vs typing / copying & pasting + some html coding) interesting & useful.
What's this? I was testing a new feature provided - basically, capturing url link with just a click (vs typing / copying & pasting + some html coding) interesting & useful.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
there you go, months has gone by....beberapa purnama telah berlalu .... a few things has happened since. the best one is our visit back to Malaysia late August for a couple of weddings. my brother and my sister got married (not to one another, of course) & they decided to do it during the same time. good excuse to deprive me of excuses for not attending.
as of yesterday, yes, 17 October 2003, I'm free from my studies. Just submitted my research thesis and hopefully things will work out fine. what's the plan for the future? dunno. a lot of things still to come & we are braving the days together.
one step at a time... one day at a time .... LIFE GOES ON!!!! We'll get there insya-Allah (God willing).
what has happened in the world? a lot. what have I contributed to the world? would like to be able to say 'a lot' but don't thing I can do so.
Formula 1 2003 has ended with another win for Ferrari & Schumacher.... a lot more interesting than last year's. RWC is in Australia & I'm barracking for The ALL BLACKS. England is good though. Would be interesting.
as of yesterday, yes, 17 October 2003, I'm free from my studies. Just submitted my research thesis and hopefully things will work out fine. what's the plan for the future? dunno. a lot of things still to come & we are braving the days together.
one step at a time... one day at a time .... LIFE GOES ON!!!! We'll get there insya-Allah (God willing).
what has happened in the world? a lot. what have I contributed to the world? would like to be able to say 'a lot' but don't thing I can do so.
Formula 1 2003 has ended with another win for Ferrari & Schumacher.... a lot more interesting than last year's. RWC is in Australia & I'm barracking for The ALL BLACKS. England is good though. Would be interesting.
Sunday, August 10, 2003
phew.... one month. i definitely did not realise it. it's been one month since i'm here. well, just had some fast-tracking things in life. anyhow, what has happened in a month. the war - long forgotten since except to those directly affected by it, especially in term of bombs. but interesting to note that the last two wars initiated by the us of america ended up with failure; before you challenge me on that ,consider this. how would you described the killings of thousands of innocent lives but failing to capture/kill bin laden and saddam? to me - definite failures.
what has happened? hmmm..... i'm in my final semester now & guess what? despite the numerous things that befallen me last semester, i ended up with good results. i'm mystified, but thankful - alhamdulillah. i got some stock options - free; there's a saga to this - quite humouros but i'm not in the mood to talk abt it.
i'm also officially looking for a job..... drop me a line if you know of any....
what has happened? hmmm..... i'm in my final semester now & guess what? despite the numerous things that befallen me last semester, i ended up with good results. i'm mystified, but thankful - alhamdulillah. i got some stock options - free; there's a saga to this - quite humouros but i'm not in the mood to talk abt it.
i'm also officially looking for a job..... drop me a line if you know of any....
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Aku banyak travel dua tiga hari ni. Dalam seminggu ni, aku dah clocked lebih 7 ribu air km. tak larat gak main day trip naik kapal terbang. tengok anak bini tengah lena je.
Study aku start balik minggu depan.. Insya-Allah final semester; tak sabar aku nak abihkan. Lepas ni aku dah malas nak buat fomal studies. Belajar sendiri bolehlaa... dah tak larat nak layan exam ngan assignments.
Study aku start balik minggu depan.. Insya-Allah final semester; tak sabar aku nak abihkan. Lepas ni aku dah malas nak buat fomal studies. Belajar sendiri bolehlaa... dah tak larat nak layan exam ngan assignments.
Friday, July 04, 2003
Thursday, July 03, 2003
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
Bismillah-ir-Rahman-ir-Rahim
The Sun | |||
A lot of my friends are wondering why I have become a muslim - what is this Islam? Well, I should begin by telling you that it is not just a religion, it is also the 'divine law' which works throughout nature. Islam means surrender - the whole universe is an act of love & obedience and nothing can escape its own destiny. Once you begin to acknowledge the existence of this supreme plan, then you have reached the stage where all paths lead to the one truth - and you become at peace with yourself, in beautiful submission with ALLAH.
"Consider the Sun, and its lightnessIt's from here.
- Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the world
Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass
Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day
Yusuf Islam @ Cat Stevens
Someone was talking about the Krista kindy chain. I found out the meaning of the word Krista - apprently a Malay word.
Being me, words and concepts usually got juggled in my mind and something interesting came up with this. First of all, I'm not familiar with Krista or Crista at all - which means... nothing! But personally, it means that there's something to learn. Anyway, further mind-juggling linked the word not to brain but to something else.
Having heard that Google can tell you anything; I tested it out - and you can check the result for my search for the English word Crista here. My scientific deduction based on these; I linked Crista to the same think that Google links it to foremost.... therefore, a lot of people will do the same, at least sub-conciously.
Anyway, a search on Crista & Brain give something different - but I hate to try to decipher that 'foreign' language. Trying to understand Sagittal Thrombosis a few months back was enough for me.
Anyway, I still find it interesting that out of the hundreds or thousands of word/terms associated with brain (and crista is not a popular one), crista is the selected on by this organisaton. What say you?
Meaning of Krista
"Krista" is a biological term (Bahasa Malaysia) that is associated with the brain. It is translated from the English word Crista. The word "Krista", reflects our objective in nurturing positive brain development in children
Being me, words and concepts usually got juggled in my mind and something interesting came up with this. First of all, I'm not familiar with Krista or Crista at all - which means... nothing! But personally, it means that there's something to learn. Anyway, further mind-juggling linked the word not to brain but to something else.
Having heard that Google can tell you anything; I tested it out - and you can check the result for my search for the English word Crista here. My scientific deduction based on these; I linked Crista to the same think that Google links it to foremost.... therefore, a lot of people will do the same, at least sub-conciously.
Anyway, a search on Crista & Brain give something different - but I hate to try to decipher that 'foreign' language. Trying to understand Sagittal Thrombosis a few months back was enough for me.
Anyway, I still find it interesting that out of the hundreds or thousands of word/terms associated with brain (and crista is not a popular one), crista is the selected on by this organisaton. What say you?
This is an interesting site. A few things have changed since 5 years ago, but it is still interesting and i guess it will get more interesting as the election draws nearer. Still remember the days when a search for 1234567 gave some 'valid' results. But then.... things have changed. I wonder if my name is in there.
Let's get more serious and educational.
Let's get more serious and educational.
- Suruhanjaya Pilihan Raya Malaysia
OBJEKTIF
MEMELIHARA, MENGAWASI DAN MENGEKALKAN SISTEM PEMERINTAHAN DEMOKRASI BERPARLIMEN DI MALAYSIA MENERUSI PILIHAN RAYA YANG ADIL DAN SAKSAMA.
FUNGSI
MEWUJUDKAN BAHAGIAN-BAHAGIAN PILIHAN RAYA DAN MENJALANKAN URUSAN PERSEMPADANAN SEMULA BAHAGIAN-BAHAGIAN PILIHAN RAYA.
MEWUJUDKAN DAFTAR PEMILIH DAN MENJALANKAN URUSAN PENDAFTARAN PEMILIH DAN PENYEMAKAN DAFTAR PEMILIH PADA TIAP-TIAP TAHUN.
MENGENDALIKAN PILIHAN RAYA UMUM DAN PILIHAN RAYA KECIL.
DASAR KUALITI
MEWUJUDKAN SISTEM PENGURUSAN DAN PROSEDUR BEKERJA YANG TERANCANG DAN SISTEMATIK UNTUK MELAKSANAKAN PILIHAN RAYA YANG ADIL, CEKAP DAN TELUS.
Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
How about this? A reader pointed me to it. Interesting huh.... and I wasn't even aware. Anyway, good luck to the blogger.
How about this? A reader pointed me to it. Interesting huh.... and I wasn't even aware. Anyway, good luck to the blogger.
Saturday, June 28, 2003
I'm researching stock options;
What is a stock option?
What is a stock option?
- A stock options give you the option -- but not the obligation -- to buy company stock at a fixed price. This fixed price is called the exercise price. You can only exercise (buy the company stock) this option between two dates, the vesting date and the expiration date. The vesting date is often a year or more from the date that the option was granted, or given, to you. The expiration date, is many years after the vesting date.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Know this person?
Or this person?
Find out about Rachel Corrie.
Rachel Corrie, a 23-year-old American human rights volunteer from Olympia, WA was killed in Rafah, Gaza on March 16 by an Israeli soldier driving an American-made Israeli military bulldozer. Rachel was run over by the bulldozer while she was nonviolently attempting to protect a Palestinian home from demolition.
Saturday, June 21, 2003
I'm trying to understand this....
in light of this....
and this...
- Melaka Chief Minister Ali Rustam also used his speech to criticise PAS’ hardline interpretation on Islam, alleging that "it has been teaching perverse Islamic teaching since its establishment".
He said PAS leaders was obsessed with sex when they issued the edict that the handshake between men and women is haram (unlawful).
"How can they say it is haram for a woman to shake hands with men. The act only becomes haram if it arouses one’s sexual desire."
"I don’t know about PAS leaders but we don’t get arouse just by shaking hands with women. Is sex the only thing in their mind?" he asked, drawing laughter from the delegates.
Malaysiakini
in light of this....
- Shaking hands with women who one is not mahram to
Question: Why has Islaam forbidden shaking hands with women who one is not mahram to? And does one’s wudhoo. became nullified if he shakes the hand of a woman without desire?
Response: Islaam has forbidden that (shaking hands with women who one is not mahram to) because of the fitnah (which exists therein) and the greatest fitnah is for a man to touch the skin of a woman (ajnabiyyah); and everything which leads to any fitnah has been legislatively forbidden. Therefore, one is commanded to divert his sight as a preventative measure. As for one who touches his wife, then this does not nullify the wudhoo. Even if it is done with desire, until any prostractic fluid (mathee) or semen (manee) is ejaculated. So this then obligates him to perform ghusl if only semen is ejaculated and if it is (simply) mathee (prostractic fluid) then it is sufficient to wash the private parts and make wudhoo.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen
Fataawa an-Nadthar wal-Khulwah wal-Ikhtilaat - Page 10
Fatwa-Online
and this...
- Question: Some tribes have customs that go against the pure Sharee'ah. For example, in some places it is customary for the guest to shake the hands of the female host. If he does not do so, it will lead to lots of problems and people will understand it in different ways. What is the best practice to follow given those circumstances?
Response: Shaking the hands of a woman for whom one is not mahram is not allowed. This is based on what is confirmed from the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) Who said, when the women were giving the pledge of allegiance to him, "I do not shake the hands of women." It is also confirmed that 'Aa.ishah said, "By Allaah, the hand of the Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) never touched another woman [other than his wives]. He used to take their pledges verbally only." Allaah has said, "Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah you have a good example to follow for him who hopes in [the meeting with] Allaah and the Last Day and remembers Allaah much" (al-Ahzaab 21). Furthermore, shaking hands by women with men that are not mahram is one of the means that leads to temptation for both of them and it is obligatory to avoid it. There is no harm in saying greetings without shaking hands. Any speech of a questionable nature or soft speech must be avoided. This is based on Allaah's statement, {O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty [to Allaah, then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner}, [al-Ahzaab 32]. During the time of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) the women would greet him and ask him questions that were concerning them. This is also how the women used to ask the Companions of the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) questions concerning matters of concern to them. There is no harm in women shaking hands with mahram men, such as their fathers, paternal uncles, Maternal Uncles and so forth.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz
Fataawa al-Mar.ah
Fatwa-Online
Friday, June 20, 2003
It's been a roller-coaster ride. The thing about life is, however bad it is, there's always a positive.
This reminds me of my good friend's sayings;
If you are not happy with your Proton, just glance around and put yourself in the shoes of he who is on a kapcai.
While most of us are not born with a silver spoon - life is still great; why? because to be alive itself is such an enormous gift.
Anyway, however you take it - Life Goes On!
This reminds me of my good friend's sayings;
If you are not happy with your Proton, just glance around and put yourself in the shoes of he who is on a kapcai.
While most of us are not born with a silver spoon - life is still great; why? because to be alive itself is such an enormous gift.
Anyway, however you take it - Life Goes On!
Thursday, June 19, 2003
Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give;
the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget;
Not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don't be afraid to learn.
Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don't use time or words carelessly.
Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift: that's why we call it The Present.
Have a Present filled day.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.
Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don't be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give;
the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don't run through life so fast that you forget;
Not only where you've been, but also where you are going.
Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
Don't be afraid to learn.
Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.
Don't use time or words carelessly.
Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift: that's why we call it The Present.
Have a Present filled day.
In a university commencement address several years ago, Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises, spoke of the relation of work to one's other commitments:
- "Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life."
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
- ORANG KATA ..... enjoy sementara muda,
hidup panjang lagi,
dah tua nanti taubatlah.
ATUK KATA ..... orang muda hidup memang baru bermula,
tapi belum tentu masih panjang lagi,
entah esok lusa Izrail datang menjemput.
AKU RASA ..... betul jugak tu ......
ORANG KATA ..... exams tu susah,
kena banyak sacrifice,
constant study ..... past year papers .. etc .. etc .. etc ..
ATUK KATA ..... exams tu senang aje,
dah ada tarikh untuk diuji,
dah ada syllabus untuk diikut,
kalau ajal ... entah bila siapapun tak tahu,
banyak pula tu peringkat ujiannya,
Munkar Nankir, Neraca Mizan, tayangan slide ......
AKU RASA ..... betul jugak tu ......
ORANG KATA ..... have fun on your birthday,
panggil kekawan and sedara mara,
berpartylah sepanjang malam,
make it a memorable one!!
ATUK KATA ..... setiap hari jadi, kita semakin hampir,
hampir setahun dengan kematian,
setahun lagi diberi peluang untuk beramal, bertaubat ......
AKU RASA ..... betul jugak tu ......
ORANG KATA ..... kerja mesti sungguh-sungguh,
beli rumah besar, kereta mewah, makan lazat ......
baru hati puas!
ATUK KATA ..... ye ke hati dah puas??
dah cukup ibadah nak tempah kubur luas-luas?
dah siap kenderaan meluncur Siratul Mustaqim?
dah cukup zikir untuk santapan rohani?
dah cukup amal nak 'book' tempat Al-Firdaus?
AKU RASA ..... betul jugak tu ......
ORANG KATA ..... successful people have a good time management,
ada bisnes di KL, New York, Tokyo .....
masih sempat berkempen untuk pilihanraya,
masih sempat melepas lelah di disko dan karaoke,
masih sempat pasang perempuan 2-3,
baru orang boleh respect!
ATUK KATA ..... setiap manusia dapat 24 jam dlm sehari, tapi .....
ada masa ke untuk sujud di sejadah 5 kali sehari semalam?
ada masa ke nak selak Al-Quran sekali seminggu?
ada masa ke nak jenguk ibu ayah di kampung,
sekali dalam seminggu, atau sebulan, atau setahun?
AKU RASA ..... err ..... betul jugak tu ......
Because You Love Me
-Celine Dion-
For all those times you stood by me.
For all the truth that you made me see.
For all the joy you brought to my life.
For all the wrong that you made right.
For every dream you made come true.
For all the love I found in you.
I'll be forever thankful baby.
You're the one who held me up.
Never let me fall.
You're the one who saw me through, through it all.
You were my strength when I was weak.
You were my voice when I couldn't speak.
You were my eyes when I couldn't see.
You saw the best there was in me.Lifted me up when I couldn't reach.
You gave me faith 'coz you believed.
I'm everything I am.
Because you loved me.
You gave me wings and made me fly.
You touched my hand I could touch the sky.
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me.
You said no star was out of reach.
You stood by me and I stood tall.
I had your love I had it all.
I'm grateful for each day you gave me.
Maybe I don't know that much.
But I know this much is true.
I was blessed because I was loved by you.
You were my strength when I was weak.
You were my voice when I couldn't speak.
You were my eyes when I couldn't see.
You saw the best there was in me.
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach.
You gave me faith 'coz you believed.
I'm everything I am.Because you loved me.
You were always there for me.
The tender wind that carried me.
A light in the dark shining your love into my life.
You've been my inspiration.
Through the lies you were the truth.
My world is a better place because of you.
You were my strength when I was weak.
You were my voice when I couldn't speak.
You were my eyes when I couldn't see.
You saw the best there was in me.
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach.
You gave me faith 'coz you believed.
I'm everything I am.
Because you loved me.
Saturday, June 14, 2003
I've not be here for quite some times. Other things in life took priority. Sometimes things hit us when we are least prepared and suddenly, like it or not, you are in it - then - you just have to survive. Keep going on, one step at a time, never give up. That's what I'm doing albeit with lots of difficulties.
Sunday, June 08, 2003
Well, let me try to draw a timeline;
20/4 - it started
27/4 - midnight - Epworth Emergency
5/5 - Epworth Emergency - Frances Perry House
7/5 - 1st MRI - Royal Melbourne Hospital
7/5 - Melbourne Private Hospital
16/6 - home
29/5 - Royal Melbourne Emergency
30/5 - Melbourne Private Hospital
31/5 - home
2/6 - Neuro-Opthamologist appt
5/5 - Surgery
5/5 - Melbourne Private Hospital
6/5 - home
20/4 - it started
27/4 - midnight - Epworth Emergency
5/5 - Epworth Emergency - Frances Perry House
7/5 - 1st MRI - Royal Melbourne Hospital
7/5 - Melbourne Private Hospital
16/6 - home
29/5 - Royal Melbourne Emergency
30/5 - Melbourne Private Hospital
31/5 - home
2/6 - Neuro-Opthamologist appt
5/5 - Surgery
5/5 - Melbourne Private Hospital
6/5 - home
Saturday, May 31, 2003
A Toast to Us - Children of the 60's & 70's
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats (central banks included) those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's, probably shouldn't have survived, because...
Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.)
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors!
We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable!
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, videotape movies, surround sound, personal cellphones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms.
We had friends! We went outside and found them. We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt. We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents?
We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them.
Some students weren't as smart as others weren't, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. Horrors! Tests were not adjusted for any reason.
Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected, one to hide behind. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!
This generation has produced some of the best risk takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
According to today's regulators and bureaucrats (central banks included) those of us who were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's, probably shouldn't have survived, because...
Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.)
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors!
We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable!
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, videotape movies, surround sound, personal cellphones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms.
We had friends! We went outside and found them. We played dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt. We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
They were accidents. No one was to blame but us. Remember accidents?
We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.
We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and talked to them.
Some students weren't as smart as others weren't, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. Horrors! Tests were not adjusted for any reason.
Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected, one to hide behind. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!
This generation has produced some of the best risk takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
Friday, May 30, 2003
It Started With The Adhan
It Started With The Adhan
Dr. Muhammad As‘ad (Michael Berdine) *
19/03/2003
It might have started with the adhan, the call to prayer, that always fascinated that five-year-old boy, and then led him to accept Islam after a long trip across time and place.
It was a spiritual odyssey of over thirty years that took me from my Irish-Catholic-American roots through agnosticism and New Age metaphysics to Islam. It was only in Islam where I found the answers to all my questions and the peace which I had been seeking for a lifetime. It was also in Islam where I found solace and sanctuary, friendships and brotherhood, a new life, a spiritual home and Allah in the fall of 1992.
In 1990, at the age of forty-five, I returned to graduate school at the University of Arizona to begin my studies for a Ph.D. in Modern British Empire History and Near Eastern Studies. This was the realization of a dream I'd had since obtaining my M.A. in British and European history twenty-one years earlier. At that time, in 1969, I had passed up pursuing a Ph.D. program at Brown University to raise a family and take some time off from school. It was at the University of Arizona through my studies of Middle East and India that I once again came in contact with Islam.
From the time I was three until eighteen, my father's position as an executive with the California-Texas Oil Company (Caltex) took our family to live and travel all over the world. Our first overseas assignment in 1949, when I was three, was in Bahrain in the Persian Gulf, where my parents, brother and I lived for five-and-a-half years. From there we moved to London for a short time before moving to India in 1956. Once in India, because there was no American schooling available locally, my parents sent me to Kodaikanal, an American Protestant missionary boarding school 600 miles to the south, where I attended school from the 5th to 10th grades. As one of the few Catholics at Kodaikanal International School, I learned much about Christianity -- my own Catholicism -- included, which began a lifelong interest in the subject as well as religion in general. However, my Catholic father became more concerned about my “Protestant” education and, mid-way through 10th grade, transferred me to an American international Catholic boy’s school in Rome, Italy. So, it was from Notre Dame International School in Rome that I graduated from high school two-and-a-half years later in June 1963.
Rome was a fascinating place to learn more about my religion, especially after the “negative” perceptions I’d received about Catholicism from some of my Protestant classmates at the missionary school. It was also a time of historic changes in the Catholic Church at the Second Vatican Council, some of which I was able to witness in person, or learn about from the Catholic prelates who came and spoke at the school. On my own, I also got to meet a cardinal, some bishops and archbishops attending the Council and had a papal audience with the charismatic and very dynamic ecumenical Pope John XXIII. (Ten years earlier, my parents, brother and I had had a private audience with Pope Pius XII and spoken directly with the Pope at his summer retreat at Castello Gondolfo.) By the time I left Rome, I was thoroughly entranced with my Catholic faith and planning on becoming a priest.
Meanwhile, because of my father’s executive position with Caltex Oil Company -- both in India and in Germany, where my parents moved in 1962 -- when at home or during vacations I met a number of important government, business and political leaders from all cultural backgrounds who were frequent guests in our home.
However, as I look back, it was as a five-year-old in Bahrain and later as a young man in India, where the sight of Muslims at prayer and the muezzin’s call to prayer made the most lasting impression of all my overseas experiences. Just hearing the adhan excited me. It made me feel good inside (as it still does today) and, no matter what I was doing, I always paused to listen whenever I heard it. Little did I know at the time that the adhan would later become such an important part of my life.
Still, it took some time for this to sink in. It was only after moving back to the States, going to college and grad school, raising a family and having a twenty-year business career, when I returned to graduate school and once again became acquainted with Islam. This time, however, it was in an academic setting and through books and class lectures. Once “hooked” on Islam, I eagerly and voraciously read anything and everything I could get my hands on in English on the subject. I bought and devoured all the books I could find. Many were written by western Islamic scholars, themselves converts to Islam like Muhammad Asad, Martin Lings, Victor Danner, and Mohammad Marmaduke Pickthall. The fact that there were Western converts to Islam of this caliber further piqued my interest and curiosity. After much reading and study, I sensed a strong, growing affinity with Islam and a complete and total agreement with all its teachings in everything I read.
During the summer of 1992, I read A.J. Arberry's The Koran: Interpreted, Danner’s The Islamic Tradition: An Introduction, Lings' deeply moving and absorbing Muhammad: His Life Based on the Earliest Sources while away from home studying Intensive Arabic at summer school at the University of Washington. In my Arabic class, I got to know an Irish-French-Canadian woman classmate who was a convert to Islam (and a former Catholic like me). I also got to know better a Pakistani-American Muslim, whom I'd met earlier that year at a conference at UCLA, where we both gave papers. Throughout the summer I talked with both of them about Islam and what it was like to be a Muslim. Soon it became apparent to all of us that my beliefs were the same as those taught by the Prophet (peace be upon him) and Islam. However, when gently asked why I didn't become a Muslim, I had no answer. At the time, I was just intellectually content to have found a faith with which I could agree 100%. Moreover, as an historian I was most impressed with the fact that the authenticity of the Qur’an could be verified (two of the original Qur’ans from the time of Caliph ‘Uthman still exist), as could the teachings and traditions of the Prophet (PBUH). This was quite the opposite of Christianity, as I’d learned to my surprise over many years of study. Despite all this, I still gave little thought to becoming a Muslim myself.
At the end of the summer, my UCLA friend suggested I read Muhammad Asad's The Road to Mecca and get a copy of his translation and commentary of the Holy Qur’an. Asad was an Austrian-Polish Jew (Leopold Weiss) who converted to Islam and became a close friend of Abdul Aziz Ibn Sa`ud, founder of Sa`udi Arabia, in the 1920s. Among his many other activities over the years, including being a student and the close friend of Pakistan’s Sir Muhammad Iqbal, Asad became a renowned Arabic and Qur’anic scholar. However, it was reading Arberry’s translation of the Holy Qur’an that summer and realizing no man could have written it that did it for me. I finished reading Asad’s Road to Mecca in mid-October, just before attending the Annual Meeting of the Middle East Studies Association in Portland, Oregon, where I was to give a paper.
As it turned out, the meeting became a reunion of sorts for me with my summer school friends, as both the Canadian Muslimah and my Muslim friend from UCLA were also giving papers at the same conference. Almost as soon as we ran into each other at a bookstore in Portland near the conference site, the Muslimah asked me pointblank, “When are you going to become a Muslim?” I could only respond that I guessed I already was one in my heart and mind. Without a pause, she suggested that I make shahadah right then and there. I hemmed and hawed, but could find no reason not to do so. So, right then and there, in the "new arrivals" section of Powell's Bookstore in Portland, Oregon, with another Canadian Muslimah as a witness, I made my shahadah. Not long afterwards, I left the bookstore and walked to my room at a nearby dorm. I was in a state of euphoria and incredible joy, feeling as if I was walking two feet above the ground. Later, when I saw my friend from UCLA and told him what had happened, and showed him the Qur’an I'd received from our Muslimah friend, he was overjoyed, hugged me warmly and welcomed me to Islam as his brother.
Two weeks later, on November 13, I once again recited the shahadah at Jumu‘ah prayers at the Islamic Center of Tucson. This time it was in front of several hundred people, after which I found myself at the front of a receiving line, where I was welcomed into the Islamic community with hugs and kisses from about 40 Muslim brothers in the most moving forty-five minutes of my life. It was an experience that still lives with me.
Attributing some of the final steps towards Islam to Muhammad Asad’s book, I decided to take his name as my Muslim name. Since he was a convert to Islam like me, I felt his name would also be a good name for me and, hopefully, I would become a good Muslim and scholar like him. However, once back at the University of Arizona, both my Arabic and Islamic history professors to whom I told my story suggested I change my name to Muhammad As‘ad, “The Happiest Muhammad” in Arabic. This name seemed to them (and to me) to more accurately reflect the change in my personality and over-all attitude since accepting Islam.
In the ten years since, my life has been a series of joys and efforts for Islam. While no one else in my family has yet become a Muslim, there is now sympathy and understanding where before there was none and -- in sha’ Allah -- one day other family members will come to Islam. My wife in particular has been most supportive. Since then, I have become active in outreach and da‘wah for the Islamic Center of Tucson, where I am on the Executive Committee and responsible for media and public relations. Beginning early 1993, I have become a frequent speaker about Islam in schools, churches, synagogues and community centers in the area and elsewhere. I also spent the summers of 1994 and 1995 in Damascus, Syria, where I studied Islam and Arabic in an Islamic Call College. Since 1996, I’ve taught classes in Islam and introduced courses in Islamic Civilization and Middle East History at Pima Community College in Tucson. During this time also, while working on my Ph.D. in History at the University of Arizona, I received a second M.A. in 1997 (in Near Eastern Studies) at the University of Arizona. In March of 2001, I went on Hajj.
Finally, in August 2001 I was awarded my Ph.D. in History and, since August 2002, I have been a Visiting Assistant Professor of History at the University of Texas at El Paso. At UTEP, I teach Middle Eastern and Islamic History, as well as World History.
* © 2002, Michael D. Berdine Ph.D. (aka Muhammad As‘ad)
Dr. Muhammad As‘ad (Michael Berdine) *
19/03/2003
It might have started with the adhan, the call to prayer, that always fascinated that five-year-old boy, and then led him to accept Islam after a long trip across time and place.
It was a spiritual odyssey of over thirty years that took me from my Irish-Catholic-American roots through agnosticism and New Age metaphysics to Islam. It was only in Islam where I found the answers to all my questions and the peace which I had been seeking for a lifetime. It was also in Islam where I found solace and sanctuary, friendships and brotherhood, a new life, a spiritual home and Allah in the fall of 1992.
In 1990, at the age of forty-five, I returned to graduate school at the University of Arizona to begin my studies for a Ph.D. in Modern British Empire History and Near Eastern Studies. This was the realization of a dream I'd had since obtaining my M.A. in British and European history twenty-one years earlier. At that time, in 1969, I had passed up pursuing a Ph.D. program at Brown University to raise a family and take some time off from school. It was at the University of Arizona through my studies of Middle East and India that I once again came in contact with Islam.
From the time I was three until eighteen, my father's position as an executive with the California-Texas Oil Company (Caltex) took our family to live and travel all over the world. Our first overseas assignment in 1949, when I was three, was in Bahrain in the Persian Gulf, where my parents, brother and I lived for five-and-a-half years. From there we moved to London for a short time before moving to India in 1956. Once in India, because there was no American schooling available locally, my parents sent me to Kodaikanal, an American Protestant missionary boarding school 600 miles to the south, where I attended school from the 5th to 10th grades. As one of the few Catholics at Kodaikanal International School, I learned much about Christianity -- my own Catholicism -- included, which began a lifelong interest in the subject as well as religion in general. However, my Catholic father became more concerned about my “Protestant” education and, mid-way through 10th grade, transferred me to an American international Catholic boy’s school in Rome, Italy. So, it was from Notre Dame International School in Rome that I graduated from high school two-and-a-half years later in June 1963.
Rome was a fascinating place to learn more about my religion, especially after the “negative” perceptions I’d received about Catholicism from some of my Protestant classmates at the missionary school. It was also a time of historic changes in the Catholic Church at the Second Vatican Council, some of which I was able to witness in person, or learn about from the Catholic prelates who came and spoke at the school. On my own, I also got to meet a cardinal, some bishops and archbishops attending the Council and had a papal audience with the charismatic and very dynamic ecumenical Pope John XXIII. (Ten years earlier, my parents, brother and I had had a private audience with Pope Pius XII and spoken directly with the Pope at his summer retreat at Castello Gondolfo.) By the time I left Rome, I was thoroughly entranced with my Catholic faith and planning on becoming a priest.
Meanwhile, because of my father’s executive position with Caltex Oil Company -- both in India and in Germany, where my parents moved in 1962 -- when at home or during vacations I met a number of important government, business and political leaders from all cultural backgrounds who were frequent guests in our home.
However, as I look back, it was as a five-year-old in Bahrain and later as a young man in India, where the sight of Muslims at prayer and the muezzin’s call to prayer made the most lasting impression of all my overseas experiences. Just hearing the adhan excited me. It made me feel good inside (as it still does today) and, no matter what I was doing, I always paused to listen whenever I heard it. Little did I know at the time that the adhan would later become such an important part of my life.
Still, it took some time for this to sink in. It was only after moving back to the States, going to college and grad school, raising a family and having a twenty-year business career, when I returned to graduate school and once again became acquainted with Islam. This time, however, it was in an academic setting and through books and class lectures. Once “hooked” on Islam, I eagerly and voraciously read anything and everything I could get my hands on in English on the subject. I bought and devoured all the books I could find. Many were written by western Islamic scholars, themselves converts to Islam like Muhammad Asad, Martin Lings, Victor Danner, and Mohammad Marmaduke Pickthall. The fact that there were Western converts to Islam of this caliber further piqued my interest and curiosity. After much reading and study, I sensed a strong, growing affinity with Islam and a complete and total agreement with all its teachings in everything I read.
During the summer of 1992, I read A.J. Arberry's The Koran: Interpreted, Danner’s The Islamic Tradition: An Introduction, Lings' deeply moving and absorbing Muhammad: His Life Based on the Earliest Sources while away from home studying Intensive Arabic at summer school at the University of Washington. In my Arabic class, I got to know an Irish-French-Canadian woman classmate who was a convert to Islam (and a former Catholic like me). I also got to know better a Pakistani-American Muslim, whom I'd met earlier that year at a conference at UCLA, where we both gave papers. Throughout the summer I talked with both of them about Islam and what it was like to be a Muslim. Soon it became apparent to all of us that my beliefs were the same as those taught by the Prophet (peace be upon him) and Islam. However, when gently asked why I didn't become a Muslim, I had no answer. At the time, I was just intellectually content to have found a faith with which I could agree 100%. Moreover, as an historian I was most impressed with the fact that the authenticity of the Qur’an could be verified (two of the original Qur’ans from the time of Caliph ‘Uthman still exist), as could the teachings and traditions of the Prophet (PBUH). This was quite the opposite of Christianity, as I’d learned to my surprise over many years of study. Despite all this, I still gave little thought to becoming a Muslim myself.
At the end of the summer, my UCLA friend suggested I read Muhammad Asad's The Road to Mecca and get a copy of his translation and commentary of the Holy Qur’an. Asad was an Austrian-Polish Jew (Leopold Weiss) who converted to Islam and became a close friend of Abdul Aziz Ibn Sa`ud, founder of Sa`udi Arabia, in the 1920s. Among his many other activities over the years, including being a student and the close friend of Pakistan’s Sir Muhammad Iqbal, Asad became a renowned Arabic and Qur’anic scholar. However, it was reading Arberry’s translation of the Holy Qur’an that summer and realizing no man could have written it that did it for me. I finished reading Asad’s Road to Mecca in mid-October, just before attending the Annual Meeting of the Middle East Studies Association in Portland, Oregon, where I was to give a paper.
As it turned out, the meeting became a reunion of sorts for me with my summer school friends, as both the Canadian Muslimah and my Muslim friend from UCLA were also giving papers at the same conference. Almost as soon as we ran into each other at a bookstore in Portland near the conference site, the Muslimah asked me pointblank, “When are you going to become a Muslim?” I could only respond that I guessed I already was one in my heart and mind. Without a pause, she suggested that I make shahadah right then and there. I hemmed and hawed, but could find no reason not to do so. So, right then and there, in the "new arrivals" section of Powell's Bookstore in Portland, Oregon, with another Canadian Muslimah as a witness, I made my shahadah. Not long afterwards, I left the bookstore and walked to my room at a nearby dorm. I was in a state of euphoria and incredible joy, feeling as if I was walking two feet above the ground. Later, when I saw my friend from UCLA and told him what had happened, and showed him the Qur’an I'd received from our Muslimah friend, he was overjoyed, hugged me warmly and welcomed me to Islam as his brother.
Two weeks later, on November 13, I once again recited the shahadah at Jumu‘ah prayers at the Islamic Center of Tucson. This time it was in front of several hundred people, after which I found myself at the front of a receiving line, where I was welcomed into the Islamic community with hugs and kisses from about 40 Muslim brothers in the most moving forty-five minutes of my life. It was an experience that still lives with me.
Attributing some of the final steps towards Islam to Muhammad Asad’s book, I decided to take his name as my Muslim name. Since he was a convert to Islam like me, I felt his name would also be a good name for me and, hopefully, I would become a good Muslim and scholar like him. However, once back at the University of Arizona, both my Arabic and Islamic history professors to whom I told my story suggested I change my name to Muhammad As‘ad, “The Happiest Muhammad” in Arabic. This name seemed to them (and to me) to more accurately reflect the change in my personality and over-all attitude since accepting Islam.
In the ten years since, my life has been a series of joys and efforts for Islam. While no one else in my family has yet become a Muslim, there is now sympathy and understanding where before there was none and -- in sha’ Allah -- one day other family members will come to Islam. My wife in particular has been most supportive. Since then, I have become active in outreach and da‘wah for the Islamic Center of Tucson, where I am on the Executive Committee and responsible for media and public relations. Beginning early 1993, I have become a frequent speaker about Islam in schools, churches, synagogues and community centers in the area and elsewhere. I also spent the summers of 1994 and 1995 in Damascus, Syria, where I studied Islam and Arabic in an Islamic Call College. Since 1996, I’ve taught classes in Islam and introduced courses in Islamic Civilization and Middle East History at Pima Community College in Tucson. During this time also, while working on my Ph.D. in History at the University of Arizona, I received a second M.A. in 1997 (in Near Eastern Studies) at the University of Arizona. In March of 2001, I went on Hajj.
Finally, in August 2001 I was awarded my Ph.D. in History and, since August 2002, I have been a Visiting Assistant Professor of History at the University of Texas at El Paso. At UTEP, I teach Middle Eastern and Islamic History, as well as World History.
* © 2002, Michael D. Berdine Ph.D. (aka Muhammad As‘ad)
Friday, May 23, 2003
Thursday, May 22, 2003
Abd-ul-Waahid 'Bruce' Paterson,
Abd-ul-Waahid 'Bruce' Paterson,
Imperial Computing Graduate 1996 - my classmate
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would like to take the opportunity to share with you my journey to Islaam and I feel that by sharing this experience with you I can help you on your journey through life. We are all born into different cultures, countries and religions in what often seems a confusing and troubled world. Actually, when we examine the world around us, we can easily see what a troubled state it is in: war, poverty and crime. Need I go on? Yet when we look at our own upbringing and our education, how can we be sure that all the things that we have been told, are in reality the truth?
Unfortunately, most people in the world decide to try to hide and escape from the world's problems rather than stand up and deal with the truth. Dealing with the truth is often the harder avenue to follow. The question is: Are you willing to stand up for the truth? Are you strong enough? Or, are you going to escape and hide like the rest?
I started my search for the truth a number of years ago. I wanted to find out the truth about the reality of our existence. Surely, to understand life correctly is the key to solving all the worldly problems that we are faced with today. I was born into a Christian family and this is where my journey began. I started to read the bible and to ask questions. I quickly became unsatisfied. The priest told me, "You just have to have faith." From reading the bible I found contradictions and things that were clearly wrong. Does God contradict himself? Does God lie? Of course not!
I moved on from Christianity, thinking the scriptures of the Jews and the Christians are corrupted so there is no way that I can find the truth form the false. I started finding out about Eastern Religions and Philosophies. Particularly Buddhism. I spent a long time meditating in Buddhist temples and talking to the Buddhist monks. Actually, the meditating gave me a good clean feeling. The trouble was that it didn't answer any of my questions about the reality of existence. Instead it carefully avoided them in a way that makes it seem stupid to even talk about it.
I travelled to many parts of the world during my quest for the truth. I became very interested in tribal religions and the spiritualist way of thinking. I found that a lot of what these religions were saying had truth in them but I could never accept the whole religion as the truth. This was the same as where I started with Christianity!
I began to think that there was truth in everything and it didn't really matter what you believed in or what you followed. Surely though this is a form of escaping. I mean, does it make sense: one truth for one person and another truth for someone else? There can only be one truth!
I felt confused, I fell to the floor and prayed, "Oh, please God, I am so confused, please guide me to the truth." This is when I discovered Islaam.
Of course I always knew something about Islaam but only what we naively hear in the West. I was surprised though by what I found. The more that I read the Quran and asked questions about what Islaam taught, the more truths I received. The striking difference between Islaam and every other religion is that Islaam is the only religion that makes a strict distinction between the creator and the creation. In Islaam we worship the creator. Simple. You will find however, that in every other religion there is some form of worship involving creation. For example, worshipping men as incarnations of God, or stones. Sounds familiar. Surely though, if you are going to worship anything, you should worship the one that created all. The one that gave you your life and the one who will take it away again. In fact, in Islaam, the only sin that God will not forgive is the worship of creation.
However, the truth of Islaam can be found in the Quran. The Quran is like a text book guide to life. In it you will find answers to all questions. For me, everything I had learnt about all the different religions, everything that I knew to be true, fitted together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I had all the pieces all along but I just did not know how to fix them together.
I would therefore like to ask you to consider Islaam now. The true Islaam as described in the Quran. Not the Islaam that we get taught about in the West. You may at least be able to cut down your journey in search of the truth about life. I pray for your success, regardless.
By Abd-ul-Waahid Paterson
Imperial Computing Graduate 1996 - my classmate
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would like to take the opportunity to share with you my journey to Islaam and I feel that by sharing this experience with you I can help you on your journey through life. We are all born into different cultures, countries and religions in what often seems a confusing and troubled world. Actually, when we examine the world around us, we can easily see what a troubled state it is in: war, poverty and crime. Need I go on? Yet when we look at our own upbringing and our education, how can we be sure that all the things that we have been told, are in reality the truth?
Unfortunately, most people in the world decide to try to hide and escape from the world's problems rather than stand up and deal with the truth. Dealing with the truth is often the harder avenue to follow. The question is: Are you willing to stand up for the truth? Are you strong enough? Or, are you going to escape and hide like the rest?
I started my search for the truth a number of years ago. I wanted to find out the truth about the reality of our existence. Surely, to understand life correctly is the key to solving all the worldly problems that we are faced with today. I was born into a Christian family and this is where my journey began. I started to read the bible and to ask questions. I quickly became unsatisfied. The priest told me, "You just have to have faith." From reading the bible I found contradictions and things that were clearly wrong. Does God contradict himself? Does God lie? Of course not!
I moved on from Christianity, thinking the scriptures of the Jews and the Christians are corrupted so there is no way that I can find the truth form the false. I started finding out about Eastern Religions and Philosophies. Particularly Buddhism. I spent a long time meditating in Buddhist temples and talking to the Buddhist monks. Actually, the meditating gave me a good clean feeling. The trouble was that it didn't answer any of my questions about the reality of existence. Instead it carefully avoided them in a way that makes it seem stupid to even talk about it.
I travelled to many parts of the world during my quest for the truth. I became very interested in tribal religions and the spiritualist way of thinking. I found that a lot of what these religions were saying had truth in them but I could never accept the whole religion as the truth. This was the same as where I started with Christianity!
I began to think that there was truth in everything and it didn't really matter what you believed in or what you followed. Surely though this is a form of escaping. I mean, does it make sense: one truth for one person and another truth for someone else? There can only be one truth!
I felt confused, I fell to the floor and prayed, "Oh, please God, I am so confused, please guide me to the truth." This is when I discovered Islaam.
Of course I always knew something about Islaam but only what we naively hear in the West. I was surprised though by what I found. The more that I read the Quran and asked questions about what Islaam taught, the more truths I received. The striking difference between Islaam and every other religion is that Islaam is the only religion that makes a strict distinction between the creator and the creation. In Islaam we worship the creator. Simple. You will find however, that in every other religion there is some form of worship involving creation. For example, worshipping men as incarnations of God, or stones. Sounds familiar. Surely though, if you are going to worship anything, you should worship the one that created all. The one that gave you your life and the one who will take it away again. In fact, in Islaam, the only sin that God will not forgive is the worship of creation.
However, the truth of Islaam can be found in the Quran. The Quran is like a text book guide to life. In it you will find answers to all questions. For me, everything I had learnt about all the different religions, everything that I knew to be true, fitted together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I had all the pieces all along but I just did not know how to fix them together.
I would therefore like to ask you to consider Islaam now. The true Islaam as described in the Quran. Not the Islaam that we get taught about in the West. You may at least be able to cut down your journey in search of the truth about life. I pray for your success, regardless.
By Abd-ul-Waahid Paterson
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Jason Burke, a world expert on international terrorism, says those leading the war against the bombers misunderstand the true nature of al-Qaeda
It has not been a good week for counter-terrorism. After a brief pause following the war in Iraq, it is now business as usual for the bad guys. This weekend sees terror alerts covering a great part of the world. The past few days have brought a casualty list running into the hundreds. 'It's dangerous in the world,' President George Bush said on Friday with his customary perspicacity, 'and it's dangerous so long as al-Qaeda continues to operate.'
In part, the President is right. It is dangerous in the world. In fact, it is becoming more dangerous with every passing day. This is because the President and the men who answer to him and his allies are not winning the war on terror, they are losing it.
The reason for this is to be found in the second part of Bush's statement. He believes eliminating al-Qaeda will end the threat of Islamic militant terrorism. Though this is rubbish, as a close analysis of recent terrorist attacks shows, it is the conventional wisdom among most of those charged with ending the violence that we are now being subjected to.
The Observer, Sunday May 18, 2003
I found this interesting, from the Guardian. Click Next and see the changes to the Palestinians land.
 | |
Monday, May 19, 2003
The Way Forward
The purpose of this paper is to present before you some thoughts on the future course of our nation and how we should go about to attain our objective of developing Malaysia into an industrialised country. Also outlined are some measures that should be in place in the shorter term so that the foundations can be laid for the long journey towards that ultimate objective.
- Hopefully the Malaysian who is born today and in the years to come will be the last generation of our citizens who will be living in a country that is called 'developing'. The ultimate objective that we should aim for is a Malaysia that is a fully developed country by the year 20.
- What, you might rightly ask, is 'a fully developed country'? Do we want to be like any particular country of the present 19 countries that are generally regarded as 'developed countries'? Do we want to be like the United Kingdom, like Canada, like Holland, like Sweden, like Finland, like Japan? To be sure, each of the 19, out of a world community of more than 160 states, has its strengths. But each also has its fair share of weaknesses. Without being a duplicate of any of them we can still be developed. We should be a developed country in our own mould.
- Malaysia should not be developed only in the economic sense. It must be a nation that is fully developed along all the dimensions: economically, politically, socially, spiritually, psychologically and culturally. We must be fully developed in terms of national unity and social cohesion, in terms of our economy, in terms of social justice, political stability, system of government, quality of life, social and spiritual values, national pride and confidence.
- Kadang-kadang, kita leka.
Kita leka dengan nikmat yang dikurniakan kepada kita.
Hanya apabila ditimpa musibah, kita tersedar.
Kita tersedar yang semuanya bukan hak kita.
Kita tersedar yang kita tak punya kuasa.
Kita tersedar yang kita sudah leka.
Kita tersedar yang kita perlu ingat.
Kita perlu ingat dan jangan leka.
Kita jangan leka, selamanya.
Sunday, May 18, 2003
- Last week I threw out Worrying,
it was getting old and in the way.
It kept me from being me;
I couldn't do things my way.
I threw out those Inhibitions;
they were just crowding me out.
Made room for my New Growth,
got rid of my old dreams and doubts.
I threw out a book on MY PAST
(didn't have time to read it anyway).
Replaced it with New Goals,
started reading it today.
Brought in some new books too,
called I CAN, I WILL, and I MUST.
Threw out I might, I think and I ought.
WOW, You should've seen the dust.
I picked up this special thing
and placed it at the front door.
I FOUND IT - its called PEACE.
Nothing gets me down anymore.
Yes, I've got my house looking nice.
Looks good around the place.
For things like Worry and Trouble
there just isn't any place.
Its good to do a little house cleaning,
get rid of the old things on the shelf.
It sure makes things brighter;
maybe you should TRY IT YOURSELF.
Last week I threw out Worrying,
it was getting old and in the way.
It kept me from being me;
I couldn't do things my way.
I threw out those Inhibitions;
they were just crowding me out.
Made room for my New Growth,
got rid of my old dreams and doubts.
I threw out a book on MY PAST
(didn't have time to read it anyway).
Replaced it with New Goals,
started reading it today.
Brought in some new books too,
called I CAN, I WILL, and I MUST.
Threw out I might, I think and I ought.
WOW, You should've seen the dust.
I picked up this special thing
and placed it at the front door.
I FOUND IT - its called PEACE.
Nothing gets me down anymore.
Yes, I've got my house looking nice.
Looks good around the place.
For things like Worry and Trouble
there just isn't any place.
Its good to do a little house cleaning,
get rid of the old things on the shelf.
It sure makes things brighter;
maybe you should TRY IT YOURSELF.
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Yusuf Islam, formerly pop singer Cat Stevens
Yusuf Islam, formerly pop singer Cat Stevens
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All I have to say is all what you know already, to confirm what you already know, the message of the Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam - May Allaah's Peace and Blessings be upon him) as given by God - the Religion of Truth. As human beings we are given a consciousness and a duty that has placed us at the top of creation. Man is created to be God's deputy on earth, and it is important to realize the obligation to rid ourselves of all illusions and to make our lives a preparation for the next life. Anybody who misses this chance is not likely to be given another, to be brought back again and again, because it says in Qur'an Majeed that when man is brought to account, he will say, "O Lord, send us back and give us another chance." The Lord will say, "If I send you back you will do the same."
MY EARLY RELIGIOUS UPBRINGING
I was brought up in the modern world of all the luxury and the high life of show business. I was born in a Christian home, but we know that every child is born in his original nature - it is only his parents that turn him to this or that religion. I was given this religion (Christianity) and thought this way. I was taught that God exists, but there was no direct contact with God, so we had to make contact with Him through Jesus - he was in fact the door to God. This was more or less accepted by me, but I did not swallow it all.
I looked at some of the statues of Jesus; they were just stones with no life. And when they said that God is three, I was puzzled even more but could not argue. I more or less believed it, because I had to have respect for the faith of my parents.
POP STAR
Gradually I became alienated from this religious upbringing. I started making music. I wanted to be a big star. All those things I saw in the films and on the media took hold of me, and perhaps I thought this was my God, the goal of making money. I had an uncle who had a beautiful car. "Well," I said, "he has it made. He has a lot of money." The people around me influenced me to think that this was it; this world was their God.
I decided then that this was the life for me; to make a lot of money, have a 'great life.' Now my examples were the pop stars. I started making songs, but deep down I had a feeling for humanity, a feeling that if I became rich I would help the needy. (It says in the Qur'an, we make a promise, but when we make something, we want to hold onto it and become greedy.)
So what happened was that I became very famous. I was still a teenager, my name and photo were splashed in all the media. They made me larger than life, so I wanted to live larger than life and the only way to do that was to be intoxicated (with liquor and drugs).
IN HOSPITAL
After a year of financial success and 'high' living, I became very ill, contracted TB and had to be hospitalized. It was then that I started to think: What was to happen to me? Was I just a body, and my goal in life was merely to satisfy this body? I realized now that this calamity was a blessing given to me by Allah, a chance to open my eyes - "Why am I here? Why am I in bed?" - and I started looking for some of the answers. At that time there was great interest in the Eastern mysticism. I began reading, and the first thing I began to become aware of was death, and that the soul moves on; it does not stop. I felt I was taking the road to bliss and high accomplishment. I started meditating and even became a vegetarian. I now believed in 'peace and flower power,' and this was the general trend. But what I did believe in particular was that I was not just a body. This awareness came to me at the hospital.
One day when I was walking and I was caught in the rain, I began running to the shelter and then I realized, 'Wait a minute, my body is getting wet, my body is telling me I am getting wet.' This made me think of a saying that the body is like a donkey, and it has to be trained where it has to go. Otherwise, the donkey will lead you where it wants to go.
Then I realized I had a will, a God-given gift: follow the will of God. I was fascinated by the new terminology I was learning in the Eastern religion. By now I was fed up with Christianity. I started making music again and this time I started reflecting my own thoughts. I remember the lyric of one of my songs. It goes like this: "I wish I knew, I wish I knew what makes the Heaven, what makes the Hell. Do I get to know You in my bed or some dusty cell while others reach the big hotel?" and I knew I was on the Path.
I also wrote another song, "The Way to Find God Out." I became even more famous in the world of music. I really had a difficult time because I was getting rich and famous, and at the same time, I was sincerely searching for the Truth. Then I came to a stage where I decided that Buddhism is all right and noble, but I was not ready to leave the world. I was too attached to the world and was not prepared to become a monk and to isolate myself from society.
I tried Zen and Ching, numerology, tarot cards and astrology. I tried to look back into the Bible and could not find anything. At this time I did not know anything about Islam, and then, what I regarded as a miracle occurred. My brother had visited the mosque in Jerusalem and was greatly impressed that while on the one hand it throbbed with life (unlike the churches and synagogues which were empty), on the other hand, an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity prevailed.
THE QUR'AN
When he came to London he brought back a translation of the Qur'an, which he gave to me. He did not become a Muslim, but he felt something in this religion, and thought I might find something in it also.
And when I received the book, a guidance that would explain everything to me - who I was; what was the purpose of life; what was the reality and what would be the reality; and where I came from - I realized that this was the true religion; religion not in the sense the West understands it, not the type for only your old age. In the West, whoever wishes to embrace a religion and make it his only way of life is deemed a fanatic. I was not a fanatic, I was at first confused between the body and the soul. Then I realized that the body and soul are not apart and you don't have to go to the mountain to be religious. We must follow the will of God. Then we can rise higher than the angels. The first thing I wanted to do now was to be a Muslim.
I realized that everything belongs to God, that slumber does not overtake Him. He created everything. At this point I began to lose the pride in me, because hereto I had thought the reason I was here was because of my own greatness. But I realized that I did not create myself, and the whole purpose of my being here was to submit to the teaching that has been perfected by the religion we know as Al-Islam. At this point I started discovering my faith. I felt I was a Muslim. On reading the Qur'an, I now realized that all the Prophets sent by God brought the same message. Why then were the Jews and Christians different? I know now how the Jews did not accept Jesus as the Messiah and that they had changed His Word. Even the Christians misunderstand God's Word and called Jesus the son of God. Everything made so much sense. This is the beauty of the Qur'an; it asks you to reflect and reason, and not to worship the sun or moon but the One Who has created everything. The Qur'an asks man to reflect upon the sun and moon and God's creation in general. Do you realize how different the sun is from the moon? They are at varying distances from the earth, yet appear the same size to us; at times one seems to overlap the other.
Even when many of the astronauts go to space, they see the insignificant size of the earth and vastness of space. They become very religious, because they have seen the Signs of Allah.
When I read the Qur'an further, it talked about prayer, kindness and charity. I was not a Muslim yet, but I felt that the only answer for me was the Qur'an, and God had sent it to me, and I kept it a secret. But the Qur'an also speaks on different levels. I began to understand it on another level, where the Qur'an says, "Those who believe do not take disbelievers for friends and the believers are brothers." Thus at this point I wished to meet my Muslim brothers.
CONVERSION
Then I decided to journey to Jerusalem (as my brother had done). At Jerusalem, I went to the mosque and sat down. A man asked me what I wanted. I told him I was a Muslim. He asked what was my name. I told him, "Stevens." He was confused. I then joined the prayer, though not so successfully. Back in London, I met a sister called Nafisa. I told her I wanted to embrace Islam and she directed me to the New Regent Mosque. This was in 1977, about one and a half years after I received the Qur'an. Now I realized that I must get rid of my pride, get rid of Iblis, and face one direction. So on a Friday, after Jumma' I went to the Imam and declared my faith (the Kalima) at this hands. You have before you someone who had achieved fame and fortune. But guidance was something that eluded me, no matter how hard I tried, until I was shown the Qur'an. Now I realize I can get in direct contact with God, unlike Christianity or any other religion. As one Hindu lady told me, "You don't understand the Hindus. We believe in one God; we use these objects (idols) to merely concentrate." What she was saying was that in order to reach God, one has to create associates, that are idols for the purpose. But Islam removes all these barriers. The only thing that moves the believers from the disbelievers is the salat (prayer). This is the process of purification.
Finally I wish to say that everything I do is for the pleasure of Allah and pray that you gain some inspirations from my experiences. Furthermore, I would like to stress that I did not come into contact with any Muslim before I embraced Islam. I read the Qur'an first and realized that no person is perfect. Islam is perfect, and if we imitate the conduct of the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) we will be successful.
May Allah give us guidance to follow the path of the ummah of Muhammad (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam). Ameen!
-- Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All I have to say is all what you know already, to confirm what you already know, the message of the Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam - May Allaah's Peace and Blessings be upon him) as given by God - the Religion of Truth. As human beings we are given a consciousness and a duty that has placed us at the top of creation. Man is created to be God's deputy on earth, and it is important to realize the obligation to rid ourselves of all illusions and to make our lives a preparation for the next life. Anybody who misses this chance is not likely to be given another, to be brought back again and again, because it says in Qur'an Majeed that when man is brought to account, he will say, "O Lord, send us back and give us another chance." The Lord will say, "If I send you back you will do the same."
MY EARLY RELIGIOUS UPBRINGING
I was brought up in the modern world of all the luxury and the high life of show business. I was born in a Christian home, but we know that every child is born in his original nature - it is only his parents that turn him to this or that religion. I was given this religion (Christianity) and thought this way. I was taught that God exists, but there was no direct contact with God, so we had to make contact with Him through Jesus - he was in fact the door to God. This was more or less accepted by me, but I did not swallow it all.
I looked at some of the statues of Jesus; they were just stones with no life. And when they said that God is three, I was puzzled even more but could not argue. I more or less believed it, because I had to have respect for the faith of my parents.
POP STAR
Gradually I became alienated from this religious upbringing. I started making music. I wanted to be a big star. All those things I saw in the films and on the media took hold of me, and perhaps I thought this was my God, the goal of making money. I had an uncle who had a beautiful car. "Well," I said, "he has it made. He has a lot of money." The people around me influenced me to think that this was it; this world was their God.
I decided then that this was the life for me; to make a lot of money, have a 'great life.' Now my examples were the pop stars. I started making songs, but deep down I had a feeling for humanity, a feeling that if I became rich I would help the needy. (It says in the Qur'an, we make a promise, but when we make something, we want to hold onto it and become greedy.)
So what happened was that I became very famous. I was still a teenager, my name and photo were splashed in all the media. They made me larger than life, so I wanted to live larger than life and the only way to do that was to be intoxicated (with liquor and drugs).
IN HOSPITAL
After a year of financial success and 'high' living, I became very ill, contracted TB and had to be hospitalized. It was then that I started to think: What was to happen to me? Was I just a body, and my goal in life was merely to satisfy this body? I realized now that this calamity was a blessing given to me by Allah, a chance to open my eyes - "Why am I here? Why am I in bed?" - and I started looking for some of the answers. At that time there was great interest in the Eastern mysticism. I began reading, and the first thing I began to become aware of was death, and that the soul moves on; it does not stop. I felt I was taking the road to bliss and high accomplishment. I started meditating and even became a vegetarian. I now believed in 'peace and flower power,' and this was the general trend. But what I did believe in particular was that I was not just a body. This awareness came to me at the hospital.
One day when I was walking and I was caught in the rain, I began running to the shelter and then I realized, 'Wait a minute, my body is getting wet, my body is telling me I am getting wet.' This made me think of a saying that the body is like a donkey, and it has to be trained where it has to go. Otherwise, the donkey will lead you where it wants to go.
Then I realized I had a will, a God-given gift: follow the will of God. I was fascinated by the new terminology I was learning in the Eastern religion. By now I was fed up with Christianity. I started making music again and this time I started reflecting my own thoughts. I remember the lyric of one of my songs. It goes like this: "I wish I knew, I wish I knew what makes the Heaven, what makes the Hell. Do I get to know You in my bed or some dusty cell while others reach the big hotel?" and I knew I was on the Path.
I also wrote another song, "The Way to Find God Out." I became even more famous in the world of music. I really had a difficult time because I was getting rich and famous, and at the same time, I was sincerely searching for the Truth. Then I came to a stage where I decided that Buddhism is all right and noble, but I was not ready to leave the world. I was too attached to the world and was not prepared to become a monk and to isolate myself from society.
I tried Zen and Ching, numerology, tarot cards and astrology. I tried to look back into the Bible and could not find anything. At this time I did not know anything about Islam, and then, what I regarded as a miracle occurred. My brother had visited the mosque in Jerusalem and was greatly impressed that while on the one hand it throbbed with life (unlike the churches and synagogues which were empty), on the other hand, an atmosphere of peace and tranquillity prevailed.
THE QUR'AN
When he came to London he brought back a translation of the Qur'an, which he gave to me. He did not become a Muslim, but he felt something in this religion, and thought I might find something in it also.
And when I received the book, a guidance that would explain everything to me - who I was; what was the purpose of life; what was the reality and what would be the reality; and where I came from - I realized that this was the true religion; religion not in the sense the West understands it, not the type for only your old age. In the West, whoever wishes to embrace a religion and make it his only way of life is deemed a fanatic. I was not a fanatic, I was at first confused between the body and the soul. Then I realized that the body and soul are not apart and you don't have to go to the mountain to be religious. We must follow the will of God. Then we can rise higher than the angels. The first thing I wanted to do now was to be a Muslim.
I realized that everything belongs to God, that slumber does not overtake Him. He created everything. At this point I began to lose the pride in me, because hereto I had thought the reason I was here was because of my own greatness. But I realized that I did not create myself, and the whole purpose of my being here was to submit to the teaching that has been perfected by the religion we know as Al-Islam. At this point I started discovering my faith. I felt I was a Muslim. On reading the Qur'an, I now realized that all the Prophets sent by God brought the same message. Why then were the Jews and Christians different? I know now how the Jews did not accept Jesus as the Messiah and that they had changed His Word. Even the Christians misunderstand God's Word and called Jesus the son of God. Everything made so much sense. This is the beauty of the Qur'an; it asks you to reflect and reason, and not to worship the sun or moon but the One Who has created everything. The Qur'an asks man to reflect upon the sun and moon and God's creation in general. Do you realize how different the sun is from the moon? They are at varying distances from the earth, yet appear the same size to us; at times one seems to overlap the other.
Even when many of the astronauts go to space, they see the insignificant size of the earth and vastness of space. They become very religious, because they have seen the Signs of Allah.
When I read the Qur'an further, it talked about prayer, kindness and charity. I was not a Muslim yet, but I felt that the only answer for me was the Qur'an, and God had sent it to me, and I kept it a secret. But the Qur'an also speaks on different levels. I began to understand it on another level, where the Qur'an says, "Those who believe do not take disbelievers for friends and the believers are brothers." Thus at this point I wished to meet my Muslim brothers.
CONVERSION
Then I decided to journey to Jerusalem (as my brother had done). At Jerusalem, I went to the mosque and sat down. A man asked me what I wanted. I told him I was a Muslim. He asked what was my name. I told him, "Stevens." He was confused. I then joined the prayer, though not so successfully. Back in London, I met a sister called Nafisa. I told her I wanted to embrace Islam and she directed me to the New Regent Mosque. This was in 1977, about one and a half years after I received the Qur'an. Now I realized that I must get rid of my pride, get rid of Iblis, and face one direction. So on a Friday, after Jumma' I went to the Imam and declared my faith (the Kalima) at this hands. You have before you someone who had achieved fame and fortune. But guidance was something that eluded me, no matter how hard I tried, until I was shown the Qur'an. Now I realize I can get in direct contact with God, unlike Christianity or any other religion. As one Hindu lady told me, "You don't understand the Hindus. We believe in one God; we use these objects (idols) to merely concentrate." What she was saying was that in order to reach God, one has to create associates, that are idols for the purpose. But Islam removes all these barriers. The only thing that moves the believers from the disbelievers is the salat (prayer). This is the process of purification.
Finally I wish to say that everything I do is for the pleasure of Allah and pray that you gain some inspirations from my experiences. Furthermore, I would like to stress that I did not come into contact with any Muslim before I embraced Islam. I read the Qur'an first and realized that no person is perfect. Islam is perfect, and if we imitate the conduct of the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) we will be successful.
May Allah give us guidance to follow the path of the ummah of Muhammad (Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam). Ameen!
-- Yusuf Islam (formerly Cat Stevens)
not sure whether I mentioned it before. My sweetheart was hospitalised 5/5/03 to 16/5/03. Initially sent to Epworth Emergency, then tranferrred to Frances Perry House at Royal Women Hospital, later transferred to Melbourne Private Hospital at Royal Melbourne Hospital.
Alhamdulillah, things have improved and we are looking forward to a speedy recovery.
Alhamdulillah, things have improved and we are looking forward to a speedy recovery.
Monday, May 12, 2003
- sagittal sinus thrombosis
The superior sagittal sinus, draining the upper part of the cerebral hemispheres, is affected by thrombosis, usually as an extension of cortical vein thrombosis.
It can present with the usual features of raised intracranial pressure, such as headache and vomiting in adults and a tense fontanelle in infants. Due to diminished blood supply to the upper part of the hemispheres, another presentation is that of paraplegia.
- Sorry to hear about your daughter's condition. The sagittal sinus is a major draining vein of the brain that runs along the middle of the head from front to back. Symptoms from sudden thromboses (clotting) range from headache to motor/sensory loss or speech/cognitive changes +/- seizures depending on how extensive the clot is, its location, and its effect on the brain in terms of causing a stroke. As your doctors have told you, in your daughter's case it does sound as if this was present early on in her life given the amount of collaterals and compensation. Side effects of coumadin include skin reactions (some rather severe, but rare), drug interactions, and bleeding. THere are a number of clotting disorders that could cause this and can be evaluated with a hypercoagulable panel (blood test). Homocysteine should also be checked in the urine and blood. Autoimmune disorders are another possibility such as lupus, but it sounds like this has already been evaluated. Finally, there are specific genetic disorders that lead to abnormalities in clotting factors that are also evaluated by blood tests.
As for support groups, I'm not quite sure if there is one specifically for sagittal sinus thromboses as these are much less common than arterial strokes. BUt you could try contacting the American Heart Assoc (1800 AHA USA 1 or www.amhrt.org) or the Nat'l Stroke Assoc (1800 strokes) for more information regarding strokes in general. For your daughter's sake, consider seeing a stroke specialist for further evaluation and management of her problems. If you are in the Cleveland area, Drs. Furlan and Sila at the CLeveland CLinic are outstanding stroke doctors who are well known in this field. GOod luck.
HERE
- Dural sinus thrombosis is an uncommon lesion among central nervous system diseases and sagittal sinus thrombosis is the most common site of venous occlusion. A wide margin of clinical features could be presented in this entity from asymptomatic patients with spontaneous resolution to severe coma and death. The mean symptoms included headache, seizures, hemiparesis, and focal deficit. Cerebral angiography in the late phase leads to localizing the exact zone of thrombosis. Treatment should be guided to prevent progression of neurological deterioration with the use of heparin for dissolving the clot and phenytoin.
We report two cases, the first in a 9 year old boy with history of Down syndrome and seizures in the first 4 years of life. He had a period of gastroenteritis 2 weeks before admissions that was characterized by sudden tonicoclonic seizures with right hemiparesis and hyperreflexia. The laboratory test was normal and magnetic resonance image showed hyperintensity areas in left frontoparietal and right parietal regions in T1 and T2 images in relation to ischemia cerebral angiography in venous phase revealed an are of deficit of blood flow within the sagittal sinus in relation to thrombosis.
Treatment with heparin and phenytoin was carried out and the patient were discharged from the hospital in better neurological conditions. The second case concerned a sixteen-year old healthy female. She began suddenly with upper right extremity paresis, tonicoclonic seizures, disartria, and right central facial paralysis. Computer tomography (CT) scan revealed a large area of hypodensity in left frontoparietal area with edema. Magnetic resonance image in both T1 and T2 sequences howed hyperintensity in the same region, and the angiographic cerebral study in venous phase revealed the site of venous obstruction within the sagittal sinus.
Laboratory tests revealed an antiphospholipid MPL of 76 and diagnosis of sagittal sinus thrombosis secondary to antiphospholipid syndrome was made. Treatment with phenytoin and heparin was initiated and the patient was discharged from the hospital with no neurological deficit with acenocumarin. cal deficit with acenocumarin. We conclude that TSLS could have a good prognosis if treatment is started as soon possible with anticoagulants and fibrinolytics. Cerebral angiography is mandatory for diagnosis and prevents delay in treatment.
Key words: Sagittal sinus thrombosis, Dehydration, Antiphospholipid syndrome, Cerebral angiography.
HERE
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
Cerita banyak pun tak guna.... aku rasa benda yang paling menarik aku belajar lately adalah pasal duit - bukan menarik pasal nak jadi kaya tapi menarik pasal dapat perspektif baru pasal kaya. Ramai orang yang aku jumpa nak jadi kaya - tapi sebenarnya ramai yang tak reti apa yang diaorang nak tu.... itu yang jadi masalahnya....
Sunday, April 27, 2003
Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS)
As of today, a cumulative total of 4836 cases with 293 deaths have occurred in 26 countries. This represents an increase of 190 new cases and 19 deaths compared with yesterday. The new deaths occurred in Canada (3), China (7), Hong Kong SAR (6), the Philippines (1), and Singapore (2).
WHO
As of today, a cumulative total of 4836 cases with 293 deaths have occurred in 26 countries. This represents an increase of 190 new cases and 19 deaths compared with yesterday. The new deaths occurred in Canada (3), China (7), Hong Kong SAR (6), the Philippines (1), and Singapore (2).
WHO
My daughter is 'making' her favourite food - roti tissue. If you are not familiar with this, I take it that you know roti canai. Well roti tissue is roti canai that's not folded after the dough is stretched. Thin as tissue - someone used the word - reshem; anyway, that her favourite food (for now) and believe it or not, we can find places that serve roti tissue in Melbourne. My son is still enjoying roti canai at this stage.
Friday, April 25, 2003
My beloved nation - deplorable realities...
I found it here
- "You must remember it's pre-selected judges, most junior bench of the court of appeal, and it's all scripted. What do you expect?"
"I am an incorrigible optimist. It's not only an Anwar issue, it's about the system of democracy, the reform of the judiciary"
"By points of law we would have won hands down but this is a political case, a political persecution, so this is expected, even though we were very hopeful."
"So long as there are judges who are prepared to and continue to compromise the values and principles of their high office in such cases there is no hope for judicial independence and impartiality in the Malaysian justice system."
"The rejection of Anwar's appeal is a major setback in the restoration of public confidence in the rule of law."
I found it here
Thursday, April 24, 2003
The last 3 days have been the most wonderful days in my life in one way - though I'm a bit sad in another way. Anyway, let's talk about good things. Well, I learnt a lot about my kids and our lives at home. Do you know that my 5 yrs old know camouflage, not just the word but the concept. Learning the concept in animals, she's also applying it to other things. Thinking back, I think I learned the word in my teens - late teens I would say.
Personally, if I can afford it, I want to stay at home - hmmm.... house-husband? Not because it's easy - trust me - I've never felt so busy in my life and when both are asleep, I'm just too tired to do anything else. That's why I'm just sitting infront of my PC now. The reason is more of the satisfaction of being with the kids. I can tell you this - I miss them.
Personally, if I can afford it, I want to stay at home - hmmm.... house-husband? Not because it's easy - trust me - I've never felt so busy in my life and when both are asleep, I'm just too tired to do anything else. That's why I'm just sitting infront of my PC now. The reason is more of the satisfaction of being with the kids. I can tell you this - I miss them.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
sambung cerita London....
sebenarnya 1st year aku jadi macam tu memang aku sendiri carik. Bila dapat offer dari universiti, orang lain sibuk apply hall laa, itu laa, ini laa... aku lepak je, in fact aku bagitau bapak aku, aku nak tough it out - tak nak tinggal kat hall - nak cari rumah sendiri, nak belajar berdikari, banyak pengalaman boleh dapat. lagipun aku dah malas hidup kat hostel ni.
ambik engkau - sampai tak terlarat; nyaris aku terbabas. camanapun, aku bersyukur dan pikir-pikir balik, memang aku tak nak buat cam lain pun. dalam penat, susah, payah, merempat, pening kepala, tenggelam punca, aku belajar erti hidup. aku belajar erti persahabatan, aku kenal sapa kawan sapa member je, aku kenal dunia ni. aku rasa perspektif aku banyak berubah lepas tu. Yang paling penting, aku rasa aku banyak belajar dan kenal diri aku sendiri - siapa aku, apa kelebihan aku, apa kekurangan aku, apa kelemahan aku.
masa tu, yang paling aku risau - study aku laa... dah laa course yang aku ambik tu amat asing - sekali lagi, sendiri carik. aku tak mau buat course yang konvensional. accounting, electrical/electronic, mechanical semua aku tak mau buat - bukan aku menidakkan kepentingannya - lebih pada aku nak cuba benda baru. campur pulak dengan kehidupan yang tak menentu. budak lain pikir assignment, pikir exam; aku pikir mana nak tinggal.... apa plan lepas ni...etc..etc... mana tak risau.
alhamdulillah, dalam kelam kabut hidup nomad tu, results 1st year aku okay - 2.1 kut; aku pun tak sangka. tapi itulaa aku.... ntah camana rezeki aku.... aku selalu lepas. Alhamdulillah.
sebenarnya 1st year aku jadi macam tu memang aku sendiri carik. Bila dapat offer dari universiti, orang lain sibuk apply hall laa, itu laa, ini laa... aku lepak je, in fact aku bagitau bapak aku, aku nak tough it out - tak nak tinggal kat hall - nak cari rumah sendiri, nak belajar berdikari, banyak pengalaman boleh dapat. lagipun aku dah malas hidup kat hostel ni.
ambik engkau - sampai tak terlarat; nyaris aku terbabas. camanapun, aku bersyukur dan pikir-pikir balik, memang aku tak nak buat cam lain pun. dalam penat, susah, payah, merempat, pening kepala, tenggelam punca, aku belajar erti hidup. aku belajar erti persahabatan, aku kenal sapa kawan sapa member je, aku kenal dunia ni. aku rasa perspektif aku banyak berubah lepas tu. Yang paling penting, aku rasa aku banyak belajar dan kenal diri aku sendiri - siapa aku, apa kelebihan aku, apa kekurangan aku, apa kelemahan aku.
masa tu, yang paling aku risau - study aku laa... dah laa course yang aku ambik tu amat asing - sekali lagi, sendiri carik. aku tak mau buat course yang konvensional. accounting, electrical/electronic, mechanical semua aku tak mau buat - bukan aku menidakkan kepentingannya - lebih pada aku nak cuba benda baru. campur pulak dengan kehidupan yang tak menentu. budak lain pikir assignment, pikir exam; aku pikir mana nak tinggal.... apa plan lepas ni...etc..etc... mana tak risau.
alhamdulillah, dalam kelam kabut hidup nomad tu, results 1st year aku okay - 2.1 kut; aku pun tak sangka. tapi itulaa aku.... ntah camana rezeki aku.... aku selalu lepas. Alhamdulillah.
Ever wonder what is it with kids and bubbles? The ones you blow from soapy water and they will run around bursting all they can.... My kids are the same - I asked them why they like playing with bubbles - the answers, "Because it's fun". Better than their 2 favourite answers I used to get; "Because" and "Sebab".
Monday, April 21, 2003
I think today must be the day where I spent most time with my 2 kids - been through this with my first one about 4 years ago. It's always refreshing and put my priorities in perspectives. It's really 'not easy' but enjoying. I think we'll get more opportunities to do so in the next few months. I also got to appreciate the other things that my wife normally does and appreciate I must.
Sunday, April 20, 2003
Dah lama aku tak menulis kat sini. Sibuk dan malas. Banyak hal yang nak aku selesaikan dan walaupun aku selalu teringat nak menulis tapi tak kesampaian. Nak cerita pasal Melbourne pun malas. Hidup sini okay - dari segi luaran, tak banyak beza dengan masa aku kat London dulu. Yang bezanya, aku sendiri. Dulu aku sorang diri sekarang kami berempat, insya-Allah berlima hujung tahun ni. Dulu tanggungjawab kurang, sekarang lebih. Apapun, aku syukur. Alhamdulillah.
Friday, April 11, 2003
We've just received some important documents sent from Penang via courier. Believe it or not. When we sent over using DHL, it took 2 days to get there. Coming back through a company called Nationwide - affiliated to UPS here, sent on 2/4/03 - just received today 11/4/03. Hopelessly slow.
Thursday, April 10, 2003
Monday, April 07, 2003
I was talking about the perception of hygiene of glove-wearers. Before I forget about this thing altogether; I saw a food-handler with gloves on rearranging chairs and tables in front of his shop. An hour later I saw him serving food, still gloves on. I wonder whether those are new gloves or the one he was wearing earlier. Personally, I think he did not change the gloves. Whilst if he was not wearing gloves, I would expect him to wash his hands before re-handling food, I doubt it in this case. Especially because with the gloves on, you don't feel your hands being dirty.
So, what's the purpose of the gloves, "To protect the food from the hands or to protect the hands from 'dirts'?"
So, what's the purpose of the gloves, "To protect the food from the hands or to protect the hands from 'dirts'?"
Sunday, April 06, 2003
- Eighteen months ago, in western Afghanistan, a 15-year-old boy picked up what he thought was a packet of food - it blew his head off.
Sayyid Ahmad Sanef believed the bright yellow object lying on the ground near his home was one of the 37,000 plastic humanitarian aid packages of the same colour dropped on Afghanistan by US military aircraft - but it had come from a cluster bomb.
Cluster bombs contain as many as 200 smaller bomblets and up to 30% of these fail to explode on impact but, like landmines, remain deadly for many years.
This is particularly the case when the weapons are dropped from medium or high altitude.
This can cause the bomblets, which contain shrapnel and flammable material, to drift in the wind and land a long way from the intended target.
And they are more likely to kill children, who pick them up without knowing what they are, according to British charity Landmine Action.
The bomblets were mistaken for aid packages in Afghanistan
Director Richard Lloyd told BBC News Online: "As many are brightly-coloured and the size of a drinks can or toy, they are particularly attractive to children."
Nato governments and their military commanders generally argue cluster bombs are an effective and useful weapon in certain circumstances.
The UK military says its L20 bomblets have a "secondary arming device" to ensure any that do not explode immediately on impact do so within 15 seconds.
But Mr Lloyd said: "As we know from Afghanistan, Kosovo and the last Gulf war, these weapons cannot be used in a way that discriminates between civilian and military targets and that is illegal under military and humanitarian international law."
Cluster bombs have killed nearly 2,000 Kuwaitis since the end of the 1991 Gulf war, according to Labour MP Joan Ruddock.
She said last month their use in Iraq would be "inconsistent with the government's pledge to keep civilian casualties to a minimum".
The Americans also dropped about 285 million cluster bombs on Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos, according to the Pentagon.
In August 2000, a quarter of a century after the Vietnam war ended, one of them exploded and killed six children in the central province of Binh Dinh.
They were playing with the device after finding it in a canal
The cluster bomb controversy - BBC
Let's get to know the cluster bomb better.
You see, I'm a 1,000-pound marvel, a cluster bomb with an ingenious design. When I go off, a couple of hundred "bomblets" shoot out in all directions, aided by little parachutes that look like inverted umbrellas. Those 'chutes slow down the descent of the bomblets and disperse them so they'll hit plenty of what my maker calls "soft targets." Before that happens, though, each bomblet breaks into about 300 pieces of jagged steel shrapnel.
Sometimes, as a cluster bomb, I get a little jealous of the exaggerated notoriety that the news media confer on outfits like the National Rifle Association. They get credited with the proliferation of murder and mayhem. Well, they're rank amateurs! Piddling sidearms pushers! Compared to me, they're small-time retailers. I'm into wholesale. They don't know how to preserve, protect and defend the Grim Reaper like I do.
I just laugh when I read the nasty things that so many pundits have been writing about the NRA. While they rant and rail against assault rifles that take a few lives now and again in the United States, I've been busy slicing up tender human bodies in Yugoslavia.
When those high school students died in Colorado, the news media kept saying what a horrendous tragedy it was. But what about the work I've done on kids and grownups in Yugoslavia? Journalists merely echo the statements coming out of the White House, mumbling that it's regrettable and can't be helped.
"In a street leading from the market, dismembered bodies were strewn among carrots and other vegetables in pools of blood. A dead woman, her body covered with a sheet, was still clutching a shopping bag filled with carrots."
I know, it's immodest to flaunt my press notices. But people don't get to see those sorts of news accounts very much in America! If the stories are reported at all, they're usually buried (ha ha) on back pages of newspapers and rarely even mentioned on the networks.
Saturday, April 05, 2003
- ....and where are the so-called reasons for the war? where are the chemical weapons? where are the mass destruction weapons? please don't come back in 3 weeks after taking over Baghdad that stockpiles of them have been found. A man like Saddam would have used them by now if he has it, don't you think so - he's a 'monster' after all?
Friday, April 04, 2003
What would you expect from war criminals? Right, indiscriminate crimes.
The invasion forces have admitted that cluster bombs were used.
The invasion forces have admitted that cluster bombs were used.
British and American forces were accused yesterday of breaking international rules of war after admitting that they were using cluster bombs against targets in Iraq. Presented with a storm of criticism, the Ministry of Defence admitted that Israeli-manufactured cluster shells had been fired by the Royal Artillery's long-range howitzers around Basra.
It also said that RAF Harrier jets had dropped RBL755 cluster bombs on targets in Iraq. The weapons, which scatter 147 "bomblets" over a wide area, have an estimated 10% failure rate, leaving unexploded munitions which humanitarian groups say are as dangerous as landmines. Yellow in colour and the size of soft-drink cans, they are attractive to children in particular.
US forces, meanwhile, have been showering batteries of cluster weapons on Iraqi targets with multi-launch rocket systems.
The chief doctor at the general teaching hospital in Hilla, six miles south of Baghdad, said this week that 33 civilians had been killed, and 100 injured, after a cluster bomb attack.
American military officials said yesterday that US B-52 bombers had for the first time dropped six new CBU-105 bombs - guided 500kg cluster bombs - on Iraqi tanks defending Baghdad.
Colin King, author of Jane's explosive ordnance disposal guide and a British army bomb disposal expert in the 1991 Gulf war, said yesterday: "Cluster bombs have a very bad reputation, which they deserve."
Richard Lloyd, director of the campaigning group Landmine Action said yesterday: "Dropping cluster bombs on Iraq contradicts any government claim to minimise civilian casualties. Cluster weapons are prone to missing their targets and killing civilians."
Alex Renton, overseeing Oxfam's aid work from Jordan, said the cluster shells could cause "unnecessary harm". The UN children's fund, Unicef, expressed concern that Iraqi children might confuse the yellow food packets being handed out by American forces with the bomblets, which had identical colouring.
In the Commons, the defence secretary, Geoffrey Hoon, accepted there were risks with cluster bombs.
He said that though the failure rate was "very small" they did leave a "continuing problem". Mr Hoon added: "Balanced against that you really have got to face up to the issue of whether you are going to allow coalition forces to be put at risk because we do not use this particular capability."
It would be necessary to use "far larger weapons" to deal with the same problem if cluster bombs were ruled out, he said.
Cluster weapons were used when it was "absolutely justified ... because it is making the battlefield safer for our armed forces", said Mr Hoon. {I translate this to "Forget the civillians"}
Although Iraq is not party to the 1997 Mine Ban Treaty, said Steve Goose, executive director of the arms division of Human Rights Watch, "any use of anti-personnel mines by any armed force is prohibited by customary international humanitarian law, since they are inherently indiscriminate weapons."
Another one from my favourite poet, regarding the Malays.
- Melayu
Melayu itu orang yang bijaksana
Nakalnya bersulam jenaka
Budi bahasanya tidak terkira
Kurang ajarnya tetap santun
Jika menipu pun masih bersopan
Bila mengampu bijak beralas tangan
Melayu itu berani jika bersalah
Kecut takut kerana benar
Janji simpan di perut
Selalu pecah di mulut
Biar mati adat
Jangan mati anak
Melayu di Tanah Semenanjung luas maknanya:
Jawa itu Melayu, Bugis itu Melayu
Banjar juga disebut Melayu,
Minangkabau memang Melayu,
Keturunan Acheh adalah Melayu,
Jakun dan Sakai asli Melayu,
Arab dan Pakistani, semua Melayu
Mamak dan Malbari serap ke Melayu
Malah mua'alaf bertakrif Melayu
(Setelah disunat anunya itu)
Dalam sejarahnya
Melayu itu pengembara lautan
Melorongkan jalur sejarah zaman
Begitu luas daerah sempadan
Sayangnya kini segala kehilangan
Melayu itu kaya falsafahnya
Kias kata bidal pusaka
Akar budi bersulamkan daya
Gedung akal laut bicara
Malangnya Melayu itu kuat bersorak
Terlalu ghairah pesta temasya
Sedangkan kampung telah tergadai
Sawah sejalur tinggal sejengkal
Tanah sebidang mudah terjual
Meski telah memiliki telaga
Tangan masih memegang tali
Sedang orang mencapai timba
Berbuahlah pisang tiga kali
Melayu itu masih bermimpi
Walaupun sudah mengenal universiti
Masih berdagang di rumah sendiri
Berkelahi cara Melayu
Menikam dengan pantun
Menyanggah dengan senyum
Marahnya dengan diam
Merendah bukan menyembah
Meninggi bukan melonjak
Watak Melayu menolak permusuhan
Setia dan sabar tiada sempadan
Tapi jika marah tak nampak telinga
Musuh dicari ke lubang cacing
Tak dapat tanduk telinga dijinjing
Maruah dan agama dihina jangan
Hebat amuknya tak kenal lawan
Berdamai cara Melayu indah sekali
Silaturrahim hati yang murni
Maaf diungkap senantiasa bersahut
Tangan diulur sentiasa bersambut
Luka pun tidak lagi berparut
Baiknya hati Melayu itu tak terbandingkan
Segala yang ada sanggup diberikan
Sehingga tercipta sebuah kiasan:
"Dagang lalu nasi ditanakkan
Suami pulang lapar tak makan
Kera di hutan disusu-susukan
Anak di pangkuan mati kebuluran"
Bagaimanakah Melayu abad dua puluh satu
Masihkan tunduk tersipu-sipu ?
Jangan takut melanggar pantang
Jika pantang menghalang kemajuan;
Jangan segan menentang larangan
Jika yakin kepada kebenaran;
Jangan malu mengucapkan keyakinan
Jika percaya kepada keadilan
Jadilah bangsa yang bijaksana
Memegang tali memegang timba
Memiliki ekonomi mencipta budaya
Menjadi tuan di negara Merdeka
-Usman Awang-
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